That' very sad. I don't know what I'd do w/o my God. He has gotten me through some really bad things, and also my Guardian Angel. There is a God. How can you not look up in the sky at night and see the billions of start and the moon, and the sunset over a lake or sunrise on the east coast. My God has helped me and kept me on the straight and narrow more times then I can mention. There has never been a doubt in my mind that He exists. You will see someday, and I will pray that you accept Him before it is too late. God bless you, because despite what you think and feel, God loves you and knows you - knew you before you were born. He is an awesome God. Nothing is clear to us now, but we will all understand that this whole world is all about when He returns. I, for one, can't wait until I see Jesus. What a wonderful day that will be.