How to Know When Nerves Are Just Cold Feet and When it's Time to Cancel
Cold Feet -- pre-wedding jitters -- bridal nerves. Call it what you what you will, most brides and grooms are nervous before a wedding. If you're feeling cold feet, try to relax and explore your feelings. Figuring out what's behind them will either lead you to a stronger and healthier marriage or save you from making a giant mistake. Either way, the time to deal with cold feet is now.
The Difference Between Cold Feet and Serious Problems:
Serious Problems that Should Cause you to Call Off the Wedding
If you've discovered that your future spouse has a drug or alcohol problem and is not in recovery
If your future spouse has been violent towards you
If either one of you has been unfaithful or deceitful
If thinking about the wedding has given you feelings of dread rather than happiness for more than a month
If you differ on whether or not to have children
The majority of your friends don't like your future spouse
Don't Let Wedding Planning Stress Become Cold Feet
Try to differentiate between being stressed about wedding planning and being stressed about the marriage. Sponsored Links
Worrying about small details doesn't mean that you shouldn't marry the person you love; instead, perhaps it's a sign that you need more help or that you should scale down the event. There's always the option of eloping!
Strategies for Overcoming Cold Feet
spend some time writing down your fears. You may find that once they are on paper, they become silly. If not, write down possible solutions to each problem, should it become true. For example, fears over a loss of identity could have solutions such as not changing your name, taking up new hobbies, or reserving one night a week post-marriage for "girls night" or "boys night."
Differentiate whether your cold feet are stress over getting married in general, or questions about this specific relationship.
Designate at least one night weekly as a "wedding-free zone" where you do not talk about the wedding at all.
Spend some time writing about the happiest moments of your relationship, perhaps including your first dates, when you fell in love, and the story of your engagement.
Write down all the good things about being a married person.
Talk to happily married couples and ask them the secrets of their success.
Visit an individual or couples therapist.
Talk to your priest, rabbi, or a trusted friend.
When Your Future Spouse is the One with Cold Feet
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