Tales Of A Simple Man

(An open letter to........)

March 12, 2002

To Whom It May Concern;

This is the story of what antiquated marijuana laws have done to one American family. How they have destroyed the self-esteem and confidence of a formerly productive, tax-paying worker; ruined his reputation with his church and social circle, disrupted and placed extreme hardship and severe emotional strain on his family; and finally driven that family to bankruptcy. We are now about to lose our home of the last eleven years.

It has driven me to the point where I simply don't know what to do. I have been dealing with depression, frustration, and despair on a daily basis for nearly 18 months. I finally decided that perhaps if I put this all in writing it could be used in some way to help change laws and prevent other American families from suffering as we are.

My name is Douglas E. Underwood. I am a 44-year-old white male with an above-average IQ living in Wichita, Kansas. Sort of the "Center of the Heartland", if you will. I used to manage restaurants for a living, eventually switching to trucking about five years ago. A basic down-to-earth average American with average strong Christian values and a very conservative political outlook. I was named an "Outstanding Young Man of the Year" for 1998. My wife, Sherri, and I have been married 25+ years (I guess in that way we are not exactly average), are deeply in love and committed to each other, and have successfully raised three children.

I say "successfully" because all three kids did/do not: have drug problems, gang affiliation, tatoos, unusual body piercing, multi-colored hair, alimony/child support, receive public assistance of any kind, or have experience with any police procedures whatsoever. They do, however: all attend college on scholarships, work fulltime, pay taxes, are National Honor Society members, are listed in "Who's Who of American High School Students", was a class valedictorian, respect the rule of law, are considerate and well mannered towards others, and are also conservative in their political views. They were raised with love, attention, interaction, participation, respect, a strong foundation in morals and values, and a belief that matters of direct challenge to parental authority were best resolved by the "Board of Bducation" applied to the "Seat of Knowledge" (said procedure, of course, being a fathers hand on the rear).

I served proudly in the U.S. Army from 1974 through 1985 working in administration at higher military headquarters such as Supreme Headquarters Allied Powers Europe (SHAPE) in Mons, Belgium and the III ROTC Region HQ on Ft Riley, KS. I had an Enlisted Evaluation Report average of 125 (the maximum) and consistently scored 100% on the Qualification Tests for my particular responsibilities (administration) when the Army-wide average score was 70% and below. I attended Officers Candidate School. I have been decorated on numerous occassions and received several commendations. In short, a career to be proud of, one that my commanders would use as an example for new soldiers.

Basically we are a well-adjusted, functional, loving family, commited to each other and the country that has provided so many opportunities for us. We build relationships with each other and others based on trust, honesty, integrity, and belief in the worth of each individual. Antiquated sentiments, perhaps, but ones we have found to be successful through a lifetime of application. We contribute to society (at least I used to....but that IS the story, isn't it?) in responsible, positive ways.

My wife and I also happen to smoke marijuana.

We have done so since 1976. We are and always have been responsible users. We smoke in the privacy of our own home (in our bedroom, actually), never at or before work, always away from the kids. We have been conscientious of this to the point that our children are as yet unaware that we smoke (they are now ages 25, 23, and 21). We do not involve others, we do not advertise it; in fact the vast majority of those who know us would be shocked if they knew.
We use it in the same way another person would use a couple of beers. There are those who believe that anyone who smokes marijuana is irresponsible, untrustworthy, incapable of success in life, a liability on the job, and ultimately a further drain on the resources and support systems of society. I would put to them that my life as lived thus far soundly repudiates that charge.

Now that you know something about my family and I let me continue. Our story actually begins with the end of my military career.

In January 1985 I came up positive on a random urinalysis test. After nearly a year of hell, the military finally decided that they no longer required my services in December 1985. I was a SSG/E-6 with eleven years of highly distinguished service to my country. The Army took all my rank, reducing me to PVT/E-1, and put me out in disgrace, giving me an Other Than Honorable Discharge and taking all benefits. I asked a Master Sergeant I knew at the time why they were being so hard on me. I personally knew of other soldiers with less distinguished careers that were repeat offenders and were not treated as harshly. He told me that I was being punished not for what I had done but for who I was that had done it. It had been decided that an example had to be made that even with a career as exemplary as mine the Army would not compromise. In fact it was BECASUE of that career I was being singled out for the severity of punishment.

At age 28 with three small children I had to start over with nothing but myself. It was a shattering experience for us all. One of the biggest problems I had at that time was the fact that I had been in the military my whole life, since age 17. It was not only the only life I had ever known, it was my whole life outside my family. For eleven years the Army had told me repeatedly and often that I was one of the best it had ever had and that the opportunities were limitless. Then overnight the Army was telling me and everyone who happened to be in ear shot, very loudly and clearly, that I was a worthless piece of crap and had nothing to offer......ever.

We recovered. Eventually we even began to prosper. It was extremely difficult and I will not here bore you with all the details. Suffice it to say that I believe that successfully overcoming tragedies in life will do more to build character in a man than anything else he will experience. It did, and we grew from it.

Eventually we found ouselves in Wichita, KS. After ten years here we were doing well. We, as a family, had continued to apply the values and morals we believed in and with that and hard work we managed to buy our first home and build our version of the American Dream. We became very active in our church, serving on the Board and teaching at-risk kids we bussed in from housing areas nearby. I organized alternative Halloween activities and Saturday picnics for the kids and participated in Big Brother/Big Sister events, such as their Bowl-a-thon fundraiser. My wife worked with an organization called Highlands to help offer alternatives to abortion for women in crisis. She also helped provide meals to the same children we taught on Wednesdays and Sundays. Our children grew up and began having success with their individual lives, which they continue to enjoy today.

Our oldest daughter blessed us with a granddaughter five years ago and I decided then that managing restaurants at 70+ hours a week would not allow time for me to continue my volunteer work and for her to know who her grandpa was. Besides, I wanted to be a very active part of her growth and maturation, especially instilling values and morals. This was tricky, because my restaurant salary was $36,000.00/year and as any growing, active family, we had financial obligations, i.e. mortgage, car payment, utilities, credit cards, etc, etc, etc. Yet I was reluctant to stop working with other kids. I was fortunate to find an entry level truck driving position for a biohazard waste company that payed the same. The job was payed at a day rate, from 5:00 A.M. until I got done, usually around noon. With help from a web site I passed the urinalysis test. The job was perfect, for it left afternoons open to play grandpa and continue my other activities.

I did an exemplary job for my employer. I took a route that had been taking 60 hours a week with a history of numerous customer complaints and reduced it to around 30 hours a week with routine customer compliments on the "new driver and his customer service". Eventually the five days worth of stops I started with were consolidated into three. This effectively gave my employer two extra days of use of me per week with no increase in his labor cost. He was happy, the customers were happy, I was happy - it was hard to see how things could be any better.

Then in September 2000 I was selected for a random urinalysis test. I used the same procedure I did to get the job, but for reasons I do not understand it did not work. I tested positive and was terminated immediately.

I felt like I was living my experience in the Army all over again. Emotions I thought long resolved suddenly resurfaced with a vengance. I was able to deal with it, but it was all the harder because it was totally unexpected. Initially I thought it would not be a serious problem getting another job. After all, I have been working full time since I was 14 and had never been out of work more than 2 weeks at a time. I would simply get another job.

This was at the start of the current downturn in our economy. The Information Technology (IT) sector had been driving things so hot and so long that growth in other sectors was basically flatline. Wichita's economy, as I'm sure you are aware, is aircraft industry and technology based. When I lost my job, Wichita's economy was doing well in IT but suffering in all other areas. The problem was that I needed a job paying $36,000.00/year to keep the bills paid, with no IT or aircraft skills. There was none. I looked hard, using employment agencies, the internet, going door to door at businesses, networked friends, all to no avail. I simply no longer had marketable skills in the current economy.

When our church found out, I was stripped of all offices and forbidden to work with children any longer. I was not even allowed to sing in church any more. They were very cordial and supportive, but they simply couldn't have someone who smoked marijuana in any position of authority or leadership. The majority of the congregation had no idea what was going on. It had been decided to keep it as quiet as possible. Actually, this was easier for us as there were fewer questions and we really didn't feel like explaining anything. Most of our friends only knew that "something" had happened and we were being disciplined. Although they helped us with a mortgage payment and two collections, we rapidly became outcasts there, too. It soon became harder to go than not to.

I tried to return to restaurants only to be told that I was too old and had been out of the business too long. No one wanted to retrain a 44-year-old former restaurant manager to do anything, even run restaurants again, at least not for anything more than minimum wage. I watched as our savings dwindled and disappeared. I watched as our retirement account vanished. I watched as the law suits started from the credit card companies. I watched as the mortgage companies began foreclosure procedures. I watched as my wife cried herself to sleep at night over eveything that was happening to us.

I watched as our lives crumbled around us because of a positive urinalysis test. Rather than being judged by what I could do and how I performed for my employer and the kind of person I was and the kind of life I had lived and the kind of contribution I had made with my life to our society, I had been judged and condemned by what was in my urine.

In September of 2001, nearly a year to the day, I found a temporary position with Federal Express over the holidays that would pay enough to meet our essential needs, such as mortgage, utilities, phone, insurance, etc. I again used information from a web site to take the urinalysis test and passed. Why did it work; what was different this time? I don't have a clue. With this employment, we were able to file Chapter 13 Bankruptcy on the remaining obligations. This ruined us financially, but stopped all the law suits and allowed us to keep our home. Then in January 2002 the position ended. As you know, September 11th sent our limping economy into a tailspin, and hit Wichita especially hard. Wichita's economy IS aircraft driven, and the job market is tighter here now than ever before. I have been unable to find work again, and it's only going to get worse without training.

I thought to return to school and made arrangements with Wichita Technical Institute to take classes in Sysco Networking. I explained my situation to them and was assured that tuition would not be a problem. In 14 months I would be able to get gainful employment in the IT sector. They tested me for appitude and I scored higher than anyone they had tested in 15 years. The classes were full due to Boeing, Raytheon, Leer Jet, and Cessna layoffs, but because of my scores they would make a place in the class for me. But after meeting with the Financial Aid advisor I still needed nearly $4,000.00. Not a lot, but it may as well have been $400,000.00. It seems that I did not qualify for any grants, only loans. I made $20.00 too much in 2001 to get any grants.

So, here we are. Six weeks behind on our mortgages, phone, utilities, and insurance......the only bills we have left and we can't even keep up with those. Still looking for work. I had an offer for a driving position that would have paid $90.00/day - enough to pay the bills and go to school. I got notified by them this last Friday, 3/8/02, that I failed the employment urinalysis......

I sincerely do not understand what we have done that is so wrong. We don't drink, don't run around on each other, don't gamble, don't hit each other or our kids or our grandkids or our pets. We don't carouse till all hours of the morning. We are friendly, outgoing people who pay our taxes, used to pay our bills on time, mind our own business, try to help anyone we find who needs help, contributing to society in any and every way other normal families do.

Our family has been destroyed because rather than drink we chose to take two hits off a pipe in the evening in the privacy of our own bedroom to relax and share some time together!!! THIS is what makes me evil, degenerate, dangerous to work around, and generally beneath contempt?!?!?! What have we done that has warranted this?!?!?

I am healthy, strong, fully capable and willing to work to support myself and my obligations.!! WHY AM I NOT BEING ALLOWED TO?!?!?!? Previous to this, I was a responsible home owner, paid all my bills, paid my taxes, provided for myself and my family and anyone ELSE who came to me in need! Now I'm bankrupt, have left numerous business "holding the bag" for the financial obligations I incurred with them, basically betraying the trust they placed in me and in my word to them, and am now a financial drain on society rather than a contributor. At least I would be if I applied for any social programs. I have not yet, but it is getting so hard.

I repeat something I said earlier: There are those who believe that anyone who smokes marijuana is irresponsible, untrustworthy, incapable of success in life, a liability on the job, and ultimately a further drain on the resources and support systems of society. I would put to them that my life as lived thus far soundly repudiates that charge. Rather than being judged by what I could do and how I performed for my employer and the kind of person I was and the kind of life I had lived and the kind of contribution I had made with my life to our society, I have been judged and condemned by what is in my urine.

It obviously has not had any negative effects on my work performance, as evidenced by my work record for any of my employers. It obviously has not had any negative effects on my social performance, as evidenced by our involvement helping others and raising our children. It obviously has not had any negative effects on our financial obligations, as evidenced the fact that until this happened we paid our bills.

If my marijuana use has had no negative effects on fulfilling any of my responsibilities and is done privately in my own home, in a country founded on individual rights and freedoms WHY IS THIS EVEN AN ISSUE?!?!?

I apologize if this seems to rant and ramble. I intended it to be as straightforward and factual as possible, but the emotions tend to run high as I relive it all to put it on paper. Any claims I have made concerning my military career or job performance since can be independently verified by a records check. Should you wish to do so, I will gladly sign whatever release forms are necessary.

As I said earlier, if my story will help efforts in getting some sanity back into our legal system in reference to marijuana laws, then perhaps all this we have suffered will not have been in vain.

Maybe it will actually have some good come from it.